2012年5月3日星期四

chinese students & usa students roommate issues


“My roommate is killing me!” “My roommate is an idiot!” “I hate my roommate!”  These must be most common sentences I have heard from the students who have some roommate issues. Since the cultures are so different between the US and China, it is really normal these Chinese students and their roommates are going to have different kinds of issues. For last year the number of Chinese students in United States was almost thirteen hundred. With this large numbers of Chinese students come to America, it is really important for these students to have a good relationship with their roommates. As a Chinese student who has been to US for two years, I am really glad to tell others some of my experiences and some useful way to deal with these issues.
As my own experiences, I will lists the most common issues the students will have when they live with their roommates, and also I will give those Chinese students who are going to USA and having roommates some tips about how to handle these issues in a appropriate way, in which I think will help you the most, then at last, I will explain why these tips are helpful when dealing with these conflicts.
NEATNESS
I believe the problem neatness is maybe the first conflict you will have with your roommate. Sometime if your roommate is quite a lazy person, and he or she does not want to spend even one minute to clean up the room and the bathroom, and unluckily you are those kind of person who would like to keep his room clean and does not even want to see a little dirty on your carpet, then living with you roommate will drives you crazy. The conflict also happens when the Chinese student is the one who does not clean the room.
TIPS
Trying to have a little talk with your roommate, try to let them know you thought, and maybe you can create a schedule on when or how often should each of you clean up. If your roommate does not care what you have told him/her, sometimes you have to take a step back, do some cleaning yourself, even it is your roommate's duty, after all you have done, and your roommate will realize it is time for him/her to do something for you. If you are the one who do not clean the room, ones you realize your roommate is upset with you habit, you should try you best to correct you mistake, to do more work to change the situation. (I had a roommate who just did not do anything to clean the room, and I use the way I said, at last he started to do some work and it worked perfectly.)
WHY
Every people is raised in different family from different cultures, it is understandable that you and your roommate have different habit of room clean, because for the most students from China, since we are in the elementary school, all we had to do in just study, the parents would take care of everything, so that might be the reason why a lot of Chinese students do know what to do once they leave the parents, sometimes that happens to the US students; and it is almost impossible to change one's living habit in a short time, so try to be patient, and do more at beginning, you will get benefit from it at last.
ALCOHOL
Alcohol maybe the most common problem you will have with you roommate, because in China students do not drink a lot, but here, sometimes things are different, you may have a alcoholic roommate, who has been drunk all the time, and speak loudly in the room, which will affects you study and sleep.
Tips
Trust me, to live with this kind of roommate is not the end of the world, the first thing you have to learn is try to cover for him/her, when the RA is coming ;  or you can have a little drink with him/her; try to talk whit your roommate.
Why
Ones you cover for him/her, they will think you are a good roommate, and drink with them will let them trust you, the previous two steps are the preparation of the last step, the reason why people is because you have some problems deep inside,  and cannot get over it, the best way to handle is to talk, you have to try to know what is the problem that makes him/her want to drink, ones you know why, you can help them to solve it in another. One day you will find that your roommate does not drink that much anymore.
GUEST
Us students like to invite friends to their to have fun, sometime it is a good thing for Chinese students, because they can spend more time to stay with the us students, it will helps them to improve their English, and communication skills; on the other hands, bring friends to the room stay for a long time will affects roommate's study.
Tip
 When you roommate is having friends in your room, sometimes you can join them, having fun; however, when you do not feel like staying with them, you can go to the library to study, or you can take to you roommates to go to other's room.
Why
Having friends in the room to have fun is a good way to lean to communicate, it will helps a lot, but ones you feel like it has already affected you study or rest, you should stay away or protect you own right.
To deal with the roommates conflicts is not a difficult thing to do, ones you have issues with your US roommate, do not think It is the end of the world, you have to know is the misunderstandings of the different cultures. So the first thing you have to do is to communicate with your roommate, and compromise a little bit (because in Chinese culture, suffering a loss is a blessing).